i cant begin to tell you how much i envy you for your flair in english.
the ability to argue with coherence.
and how your essays just come out right,
with all the topic sentences, elaborations and evidence.
when everything just seems to fall into place.
whereas mine is always rambling and messed up.
when my thoughts overflow and mingle with each other.

sometimes i feel that im a let down.
cos i dont do anything right.
my GP writing skills are non-existent, my math is totally screwed up ( ask xinhui for proof), my chem is totally dependant on my tutor and my art is nothing exceptional.
i hate being so commonplace.
i wish i was different? sometimes...
instead of being just this smudgy blur in life.
i wish i AM good at something, and i wish i knew what it was.
something positive at least...

and i always struggle so much to actually come to terms with myself and my abilities (or lack thereof).
i dont know how i am to figure math out, or to do something even as simple and basic as to WRITE WELL.
that's something i want really badly actually.
and it stings my eyes everytime i see the lousy grade on my paper when its returned...
i dont know why i cant do it.

or maybe, i just havent been trying hard enough...?